Power Sweater
The Final Count

Melt Down Day

Last Saturday wasn't a good knitting day, nor was the day before, New Years Day. NOTHING knit in the last few months has been made without a major number of errors, without tons of frogging and redoing. Every little thing, even easy knitting has been hard won. After 5 restarts I finally gave up Beach Glass, frogged a simple mitt that was messed up, and in total discouragement kicked my knitting bag across the room. The only thing I have to show for it is a bruise on my shin. Smith was horror stricken when I vowed never to knit again.

The doctors had warned me, as had several friends, that healing from heart surgery was an emotional journey, and it has been just that. Some days I feel on the verge…the verge of tears, or anger, or frustration, or self pity, or depression and, usually, I let the feeling run its course and feel better by the next day. Saturday was a melt down day.

I left the house (in a bit of a snit) to do a little shopping and have lunch with Shelley. I knew she'd lift my spirits. After I left the house Smith called her, and in turn Cheryl, to let them know I was in crisis and needed an intervention. As I stood in Shelley's living room Cheryl called and, together, they sweetly, caringly offered the same advice…return to the basics, start simple and rebuild the pathways in the brain. It made sense, it renewed my resolve.  Shelley knew I had a simple project in mind and Cheryl suggested I follow MustaaVillaa'sRav_linkredyarnball lead and knit  a beautifully simple garter shawl.

While I didn't knit anything on Saturday, I did upright my knitting bag and reorganized it. The next day, after a little yarn shopping, I started the new shawl.  It's going to be really cool (and exciting), so stay tuned and see how it goes.




Be easy on yourself, grrlfriend. Healing takes time. Know that there is a lot of love coming your way. xoxox

I can't begin to imagine how frustrating this is for you. I'm glad you're surrounded by loving, supportive people. Sending good thoughts your way!

i was that same way after my bout with cancer. honestly; some of that was the drugs ; i knit a mountain of grannies favorite washcloths.

Ahhhhh. Garter stitch. The "comfort food" of knitting! LOVE that red!

Grrlfriends are smart! ;-)

What a good color for winter, too. Good choice.

Yes, there is a huge emotional impact from such a surgery, Margene, but there is also a physiological side as I saw with Terry. If you were, as he was, on that heart-lung machine, there is some mild brain damage. Terry had a TERRIBLE time with memory, etc, for almost a year. He also got horribly frustrated, but the brain is a wonderful thing and eventually new pathways were formed and things are back to normal. Your friends gave good advice. But, maybe doing brain exercises other than knitting might be beneficial, too: puzzles, games, music, computer stuff. On the other hand, I went through something similar at a "certain age" with no excuse other than hormones, so what do I know? Stay calm....you'll get over this. Go spin!

So sorry that you're struggling so much. How wonderful of Smith to alert your friends knowing they would help. I hope that a return to simple things recharges your mojo and sets you back on track.

Your dear hubby and friends have you on the right track! I had some major surgery in April and really went back to basics myself beginning with simple wash cloths for The Red Cross. Still am on the most basic knitting but it's for a good cause(Humane Society). Healing just takes longer than most people would imagine, but you are surrounded by some really loving people, there and virtually:~)
Knit on!!

Makes me wonder what *I* would return to if I had a major life-changing event -- since I'm already kind of a "basics" knitter. :D

Yay for Smith and wonderful friends. Love you, Dearie!!!!

you go girl. you are amazing and an inspiration to us all on the good days and the meltdowns :) Big Hugs.

I'm sorry things aren't going well, but I'm glad you've found a project that you're excited about. I often struggle with the desire to stretch and expand my skills versus the joy of a simple knit. Sometimes going back to basics is more rewarding than struggling through something complex. And just because it's simple doesn't make it any less beautiful. I can't wait to see your shawl and I'm glad you're back in the knitting saddle.

I'm glad that your friends were able to comfort you. And Smith is wonderful for making that call. I had a health scare last March and you gave me the link to a great simple shawl that Laurie had made (being at work I can't remember its name) and it really was wonderful for me to knit at that time (so much so that I made 2). I didn't have the effects of surgery to deal with, just the wild roamings of a worried mind. So simple can be a great thing. I will be thinking of you.

Now THAT is a story.

Three cheers for garter stitch helping to make everything right. :)

I think you got some very wise advice. It's good to have the best of friends.
Plus you picked the perfect colour to reinvigorate your senses! Take it easy.

Thinking of you today even before I read the post. I remember those days, even though I have tried to forget them. Will keep you in warm thoughts and even today I like the idea of a garter stitch project. Keep warm!

Ah, satisfying garter....LOVE it. And with just a little bit of interest, too, I see.

Yes, and red. Perfect. Reblaze those pathways, and be gentle, gentle, gentle with yourself, dear "sister in mended hearts!"

The earth shook a few months ago. It will right itself...and maybe in some interesting new ways, too!

One step closer in the your path to healing. I am so sorry that you had to have such a hard day, but thankful that people who love you were there to support you and offer aid.

Oh poor Smith, I bet he can take almost anything but you not knitting anymore, that's too much for the dear man!

Oh and I am constantly ripping and re-knitting without any recent surgery,let alone such a major one.

Hang in there everything will get back to normal soon.


I searched the web and now I remember what link you sent me. It was to the Weaver's Wool Mini Shawl and was just what I needed at the time. Thanks again for that...and it might be a good one to try while you are getting your knitting chops back in shape.

How awesome that Smith knew what to do. How unbelievably awesome. You are so blessed!

I see you are listening to The Lacuna while you knit this gorgeous red shawl...thus it's named Frida Kahlo? I so enjoyed listening to that book on CD in large part because of the voices Barbara acted out for her characters. I am sure that you will recover completely and your knitting will once again be at your command, and until then you are educating us all by sharing what this journey is like for you. I too, am so glad to hear of your wonderful and supportive husband and friends! Your internet friends are pulling for you too!

I'm glad you have such an understanding husband and friends. Your garter stitch shawl will be like a hug to remind you of all those around you who care. Let the healing process run its course, and know you have friends even in cyberspace.

Ouch! Meltdown is never a good thing, except for the spring thaw. The red looks warm and cuddly and happy, just the ticket!

In my opinion, you have also chosen a great color to lift up your spirit!!! Have fun!

The comments to this entry are closed.