Grateful Monday

Not So Much Progress

This week I've felt whiny and tired with the added cherry on top of disappointment. It's been 10 weeks since surgery and I know there is no reason to be hard on myself. Every doctor has told me I'm doing better than expected, which is great news, but I still feel like "normal" is slow coming. 

The goal this winter is to get back in shape, but I'm fearful of the gym and all the people who touch the machines. There just isn't enough hand sanitizer to make me feel comfortable. Speaking of hand sanitizer, my knuckles are raw from using it every time I touch a public doorknob, grocery cart, or any other public surface.

See how whiny I am?


Anyway, the biggest reason I'm feeling disappointed is how slowly Miss BB is growing. The knit fabric and patterning work beautifully together and I can see how wonderful this sweater will be. However, it's the 20th of the month and I just finished the back. That leaves four pieces to go. Four! Knitting with heavy yarn (Worsted Beaverslide) and large needles (size 8) slows me down. The muscles of my chest aren't quite strong enough to handle long periods of heavy duty knitting. It is unlikely Miss BB will be finished by the end of the month (for NaKniSweMoRav_linkredyarnball) or that I'll have twelve sweaters (for NaKniSweMoDo)Rav_linkredyarnball finished by the end of the year. It's not the end of the world and I'm sure I'll get over the disappointment, but still…

As Anne reminded me, I've been knitting bone 24/7. Too bad it doesn't count as a sweater.


The sweater is turning out beautiful. It's good to take your time.

Dear Zeneedle. The needles are there all the time, but where is the zen? I suggest you make yourself a nice cup of something calming, wrap yourself in one of your lovely shawls and take a look at all the beautiful sweaters that you did make this year. How many? Ten? That is still crazy. Now listen to some music, read a book, take a walk outside and forget about gyms for the rest of the year.

I hope the sweater will be all the more special to you for the challenges it poses right now. Let yourself heal, and savor your knitting! It will all be as it should.


Knitting bone 24/7 counts! For even more, it truly does!

I love Anne's insight. And be advised, none of us who love you will be disappointed if you don't finish. We're just so very glad you're still here, dear.

Do as they taught us in nursing school and carry a small hand lotion in your purse or pocket. I realize you won't have time to use it after every sanitizer use, but it will help. The sanitizer does its job, but it also strips your hands of their natural oils.

I had major surgery myself last November, and am just now getting back to "full song". It's been an education! For you, my friend, I'd say it's OK to chafe at the bit, but don't feel guilty about your progress or lack of it.

Can I reach out there and hug you and tell you not to be so hard on yourself? Or should I smack you instead? Seriously, grrlfriend, I know you like to finish what you started but you could never have predicted the health crisis you experienced this year when you set out to knit 12 sweaters. Be kind to yourself.

It's easy to go overboard on the sanitizing. Give your knuckles a break and just do the palm side of your hands.

Truthfully? "Normal" really isn't all it's cracked up to be. :) I wouldn't rush towards it if you can help it. (Teasing - you know... I am sure you would like to feel healthy again and it's super-hard to be patient while waiting for that to come back.)

Geez I've been following Carole around this morning and agreeing with her comments left and right! I will again here too. I do understand the disappointment and the wanting for the Normal to be back. Hugs to you my friend.

I say that knitting bone 24/7 more than makes up for, oh, four or five adult-sized sweaters. I'm slogging through my last NaKniSweMoDo sweater, and I'm not happy about my attitude. Not zen. Not nice. In retrospect, I think having a goal (like 12 sweaters in a year) is a fine idea. . . but, really, kind of bogus. It's the knitting that counts. Not the number. Take care of yourself! (As far as the hand-sanitizing. . . I'm with you there! I carry a small container of Clorox wipes AND hand sanitizer. All the time. My white cell count is still in the basement, and I'm not taking any chances!)

Marijke hit the nail on the head. Besides, dearheart, you are here! You can knit! But, if you must be whiny (and, we all must at times), then give it everything you have and immerse yourself in it for a day. Stomp and have a tantrum. It's not like this year has been normal at all. And, besides, who in hell told ME to be kind to myself? Put the sweater down and knit something fun for a day or so. Oh, and as for getting stronger? Walk with your little boyz. And, if you can, work out at home. Big hugs from here!

Oh, and that sweater? It's going to be gorgeous! Whenever it gets finished. . .

My Dear Margene -
I wish I could kidnap you and just pamper you for a while! Why are we so hard on ourselves? Impatience is a double edged sword and can sometimes be a source of undue stress. Remember that knitting, as life, is all about the journey...and one to be enjoyed! I hope you can find pleasure in simple things for a while...walks with your husband, beautiful sunsets, books, music and dinners shared with friends.

Like good friends, your knitting needles will be waiting for you when you're ready. Have you thought of some "simple" knitting for a little while...maybe some cute little baby hats for your local hospital? They never seem to have enough and it would keep your fingers moving with no pressure and no deadlines.

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...may you have patience with your healing process. Please be kind and gentle with've been through so much!

This isn't whining..precaution is your best medicine!
Even I am ultra cautious and I've not been through any of your dilemma. I find myself bordering on being paranoid of crowds, door knobs etc. during this season, even though I was lucky enough to score a seasonal vaccine. I wear gloves when I am shopping simply because I'm afraid of all the 'germies'..and I use very careful judgment in where I take my keep on being protective of yourself!!
The knitting will be there when you're ready for it..for now..take care of YOU!!

Ah. Perfectionism rears it's pesky head! But Rationalization can perhaps slay Perfectionism. Your year needs to be extended. It doesn't end until you add the weeks the doctors set aside for your surgery and rehabilitation. As you are still convalescing, even now should not count.

You have accomplished so much in both your knitting goals and in your healing goals. Let that be your focus. Working on Miss BB is your "workout." A few reps a day plus a walk to get you through this flu season, will put you in perfect shape to tackle the gym and your next sweater when the time is right.

I think you'll find that there is a provision that extends extra time if one has to have surgery! lol! Honestly I agree with everyone who has previously posted. I too am amazed at what you've accomplished and want you around posting your adventures and all your beautiful pictures for me to drool over or learn from. You are my lace inspiration and I keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Hang in there!! Hmm. I'll try to remember where I've seen info on doing workouts at home with minimal equipment - probably it was Lifehacker. dear friend............the title of your blog is Zeneedle is it not? I feel the anxiety and disappointment in your words. I understand how very much you wish to finish the 12 sweaters, but it's more important to give your body the time it needs to mend, even if it means putting down the needles more often.

I'm with Anne.........24/7 bone knitting definitely counts!

I think it's normal to be frustrated with recovery. It's a sign your feeling better. As for your hands, I met these folks at the NH S&W but have since seen them many places including Rhinebeck. I make lotion bars but they pale in comparison to the Heal My Hands stuff. Get some now, you won't be sorry.

Hey Girl, So sorry to hear that you have the blues today. I think it's more normal to have some down days than to not have any. Anne is so right; knitting bone is a more significant project than the other 10 sweaters every were. Have some GF cookies and a nice cuppa and relax. There will be time for getting in shape. There will be time for other sweaters. There will be time to give us the regular knitting productivity spanking that you usually do. The common thread here is, thanks to the surgery, which is causing you to feel a little down now, There Will Be Time. The surgery gave you time. Embrace it and all the steps of recovery. Each step is your medal of honor. My grandmother always told me, go have a really good cry, tantrum, foot stomping fit, embrace those blues.... for 15 minutes. Then dry your eyes, stand up straight, put a smile on your face and move forward. In times of trials, stress and the blues, I've tried to keep her advice. She was an incredibly wise woman.

Ok, here's some info from Consumer Reports.

Well, I will chime in and agree with everyone -- but, also, I know I would feel exactly the same as you!! The most important thing is that you're here and continuing to heal!! XO

Relax and knit a lacy shawl. No weight. Even better, knit one of the gazillion little lacy triangular scarves that are all over the place. Mindless gentle knitting.

You're doing fine. Don't forget that you've been through some major medical issues here, and the body takes a very long time to heal, as does the mind. So go with the flow, and if you don't want to knit, don't. Take a walk, a nap, read a book, watch the tube, meet friends for lunch or dinner.

You're a miracle girl and I'm so glad you're getting better!

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