Changing Direction

When we last left our manic intrepid knitter she was having a meltdown of the highest order. Apparently whatever amount of Zen she had had slipped away momentarily.

Once the monkey mind takes over your thoughts finding Zen again can be difficult. My head was getting ahead of my heart and jumping around in the future...not a good place to be. Instead of knitting in the moment, and enjoying the process, my thoughts turned to the next sweater and how much I wanted to start knitting IT and then the NEXT sweater after that and the NEXT after THAT!  My head was full of wantdesirewhycan'tiknitfasterdesirefutureyarndesiremoredesireandangst. All this angst created a true sense of dissatisfaction with myself and my knitting. 

It was an obsessive moment, a moment so full of desire, and a resulting sadness, that it was startling. I stopped took a good look at myself, and my knitting, which in turn caused a reassessment.  Why do I knit? What satisfaction is there in jumping from one unfinished project to the next?  What is it about my LIFE right  now (not the knitting) that has caused this obsessive angst?  I took a deep breath, realized this was not a good path and moved away from the sweater. A break was needed, a new path was sought.

You may have thought I'd given up on glove knitting and it's true, the Knotty Glove hadn't been touch in a week or so (see her blog sidebar or Ravelry for the pattern).  By picking up the glove and quietly knitting for an evening, the spell of angst was broken. The change of scenery calmed the monkey mind and took away obsessive thoughts of sweater knitting.  Watching the last few rows of the knot form calmed the mind even more. A sense of accomplishment and simplicity settled over me and now only the digits are left to knit.

Mountain Colors Bearfoot is a very nice yarn for gloves. It's soft, slightly fluffy and the mohair content should make for warm hands. The Ruby River colorway is rich with deep shades of red, orange and maroon, which create a warm sensation.  My mind has calmed, my thoughts have returned to the moment, and the joy of knitting has returned. 

Instead of getting caught up in the thoughts of all the mitts and gloves that could be future knitting, I thought through a plan of projects that would make the trip to Rhinebeck. It's a true plan and not just the jumping of the monkey mind from project to project.  Mitts, mittens or gloves will make easy, portable travel knitting and I've started gathering the yarn and patterns together.  Now maybe I can return to Lady Day and finish the last bit of knitting without the angst.

Comments

[Sarah]

I'm so glad you have found this peace. I love this plan.

[CindyCindy]

I think we all have had that project monkey brain problem. I am so glad you were able to get your peace/process back. I do love your Knotty glove. I thought for a minute your sock mojo had snuck in the back door.

[Carole]

It's good to stay focused. I have some Mountain Colors Bearfoot and agree that it would make great mittens or gloves. Hmmmm.

[Marcia]

Boy, does this sound familiar! Only in my case it's that damn "A Fine Fleece".....I want to make Portland; no, Fylingdales; no, St. Patrick; no, Town and Country; no.........make it stttoppp!

[ruth]

You need to get your socks mojo back! Or think of this: matching socks, gloves, and, tee hee, a sweater!

Unfortunately I understand startitis only too well.

[Lynn]

Hmm. Maybe I need to take up Zen. My monkey mind is always going on like that. Would you please tell us someday how you learned this calmness in the face of desire?

[Barbara-Kay]

Do you think this could be a part of our ancestral response to fall approaching, must knit warm garments? Be an ant, not a grasshopper! It can be as compelling as the nesting urge for a pregnant woman. Glad you worked out some calm.

[Vicki]

I think it's something that comes with the change of season -- that we not only want and need warm clothes in the winter, we need to have something to DO in the long, cold winter. And we knitters seem to be very good at making sure we'll never be in a situation where there's nothing to knit!

That glove is gorgeous!! I have a pair of socks in Bearfoot (wonderful on the coldest of days) and can definitely see that yarn making a wonderful pair of gloves.

[Anne]

Good plan. Nothing like taking a break so you can come back to something refreshed and ready to continue on with it.

[Chris]

Good for you! I don't always manage to stop that cycle.

[Jennifer]

I keep thinking that a yarn & yoga studio would be a good thing for us manic, er, intrepid knitters. I think we could all use a little bit of zen in our days. Glad you got some peace.

[Laurie]

You are wise to look at the reflection of life. It is a lesson I shall use.

[marianne]

Whew! That was some ride reading through and in the end? 'So glad you made it'... :^)

[Wool Winder]

I didn't get that you were in angst over all the ideas swirling through your mind, so my comment yesterday may have sounded insensitive. Glad you are back in Zen mode and enjoying your knitting again.

[Roxie]

Back in the Zen zone - Good for you.

[Kim]

Those gloves are great! Thanks for posting the link!

[Nora]

Funny, last night I resentfully got up from working on my cardigan to make dinner, and I thought "what is the rush, anyway? Why is it so important to me to Get This Done?" I need to take your cue and stay in the moment, or I get silly.

[Kim]

Whew...you sound much calmer today :)

[Knitnana]

Love the gloves...tho' I'm not sure how that color can be calming!! :)
Glad you feel back in control again...
(((hugs)))

[Heather Joins The Round]

The gloves are really lovely!

[Teyani]

the mitts look fabulous. I love that color.

Monkey mind - such an amazingly easy trap to fall into. good that you found the calm once again.

[Julia]

Sometimes that monkey mind needs to be reminded to make gloves, not war. Those are going to be fabulous!

[Laris]

Happy that you like the pattern! The yarn is a perfect match. Enough of variation to keep it interesting, but not so much to hide the cables :)

[Hillary]

Gosh, focus issues seem to affecting so many of us. Glad you got through the moment and found a plan.

[Norma]

Oh, I love Mountain Colors Bearfoot! Fluffy Deb made me a pair of socks in it, and they are one of my faves. I've always coveted the Ruby River colorway, too.

[Joy]

Gorgeous gloves - glad you worked through it!

[Birdsong]

Ah, solace found! Bearfoot really is a wonderful yarn...

[Cheryl S.]

I'm glad you found the joy of knitting again!

[Cookie]

That's my grrl.

Such lovely gloves, too.

[Kristin]

I couldn't agree more about Bearfoot and mittens/gloves/mitts! I've made several pair from it myself.

I had to giggle, though. I have some rich red yarn, and it's still not cool enough outside for me to knit with it yet. Such a hot, burning color! Perfect for winter knitting when I'll need the warmth.

[Pat K]

I've never heard of it referred to as monkey brain, but it's certainly apt. And there's been days -- and weeks -- when I've had a barrel of monkeys brain. It's so good to break the mental cycle and get peaceful again.

[Darcy Watts]

I have never knit with Mountain Colors Bearfoot but I want to now your gloves are so yummy.Hugs Darcy